Just to get High
by The Arena
Summary: Song fic angst, violence, drugs. Yaoi. Read and review. It is my first try at this genre, so hope you enjoy! Naruto is visiting his home town after 2 years of hard work on his career.. he returns to find that things have changed.
1. just to get high

**A/N: My first real attempt at angsty drama sort of story.. so I hope you enjoy.**

**It is based on Nickelbacks song "just to get High" from their album Dark Horse. I think you should listen to the song as you read it, or before reading it.. overall just listen to angry music, then you might feel what I tried to convey in the story.**

**M for Molestation. For real. **

**Characters belong to rightful owner.. sadly not me.**

**NOTE: Not beta tested (my beta is slooooow) and therefore all comments on grammar will be used for dart targets. **

**R&R!**

* * *

**"Just To Get High"**

He held on to the microphone, letting his guitar dangle loosely down his front, as he sang the lyrics with his hoarse and rough voice. He no longer belonged to some snotty garage band, no, now he was a real rockstar with roadies and all that crap.

The way to the top had been long, and often he didn't know if he could make it. He had always just loved to play music because it was something he was good at. His lyrics came from his heart and he gave it his all when he sang into the microphone, closing his eyes as he did so.

It all had started in rented rooms in china town on the east coast, where he played with his friends at local gigs and clubs. They had had a blast at each performance, but now.. now there were only him. There were no old friends who had followed him to the top, no, the label company didn't need mediocre musicians – they could always find those on the street corner was what they had told him.

And his friends had always said he was meant for greater things than just garage rock, he was too talented to just rot up in there. But he honestly didn't give a crap about that. Being on the top was lonely, and that was the reason to where he found himself this day.

He walked under the Chinese sign saying china town. His blond hair swayed in a mild breeze as he walked down the everyday crowded street. He had missed being the anonymous Japanese guy, instead of being rockstar Naruto Uzumaki – he had honestly missed the smelly over crowded china town.

As his torn combat boots walked down the main street, he saw familiar faces, people he had spend time with when he was just the blond idiot who played hell of a lot guitar. They looked surprised but also very happy to see that he hadn't forgotten his roots.

He nodded in greetings as he walked down a side road.

There were a special someone he wanted to visit. A special person – a childhood savior, a best friend, and foremost a lover. He had butterflies in his stomach as he turned a familiar corner, and got closer to the old block he used to live in, or where he and Sasuke used to live in.

He had talked to Sasuke back then that he was accepted by a label company on the west coast, and that he had to move over there, to make himself a career. He had asked the Uchiha numerously times to come along and live with him, but all he got was a cold glare.

"What do you expect me to do over there? Huh? I don't have a fat label contract that can stuff my pockets with money." Was the cold and shattered words that left the dark haired lover.

They had had a heated argument that had ended in sex (which wasn't really that surprising, because they always had the best sex when they yelled each other's heads off) and after that Naruto hadn't heard from Sasuke, and before he had time to say goodbye he had to leave for San Francisco.

Now, over 2 years later he returned, to visit Sasuke uchiha.

As he turned down the street where he used to live, he became wildly aware that not only he had changed, but everything had changed. The street buzzed with people who looked like crackheads, hookers and dealers.

He pulled his jacket a bit tighter as he passed some men, who looked suspiciously after him as he entered the building where he used to live. He was just assuming that Sasuke still lived here, but he wasn't sure.

"Hey punk, where do you think you are going?" Naruto stopped dead in his tracks.

"erh.. I am visiting someone.." He didn't turn to face the men. He could hear them walk up behind him, and pulling him on the shoulder so he suddenly stood face to face with a tall brown haired man.

"oh yea? … who are you visiting blondie?" The two men grinned malicious as they checked out the blond.

"none of your concern." Naruto pulled himself loose of the man's hold, giving the taller of the two a deadly glare.

"oh.. think again Barbie, it is definitely of my concern.. you tell me, or I will break those fine fingers of yours.." The man had turned his grin into a deep dark scowl, and he looked definitely not like he was joking about what he said.

"Sasuke Uchiha." Naruto still held his glare at the man, but was surprised to see the man suddenly smiling goofy.

"Sasuke, huh? Go ahead, I didn't think that whore had any friends left.. unless he has gotten himself a new pimp?" The man sized Naruto up and down as he stood grinning.

'whore? Pimp? What the hell is he talking about'

Naruto cocked a blond brow as he turned and walked inside the building, and up to the first floor where he could see the door stood ajar.

Slowly pushing the door open, he took a cautious step inside, looking around in the apartment. It reeked. A smell not distinctive to his nostrils roamed the flat, and he coughed a little as he breathed, almost feeling like he had to puke. There were lying clothes everywhere and he saw needles, lighters, fags, and food products of all sorts. It was disgusting. How could a person like Sasuke, mister tidiness, live in a place there resembled a dumpster.

"Sasuke?" Naruto looked at the coffee table and saw a bag of white powder lye along with a spoon and silver paper. He wasn't unfamiliar with it, as he had been offered the same shit on his tours – fucking drugs, and not just one kind. There were smoke heroin, cocaine and judging by the needles there were a little something extra. Had he really sunken that low?

"Sasuke are you here? Answer me bastard!" Naruto found his way to the bedroom door, and stood unmoving as he held the doorknob is his grasp.

His thoughts were blank and he couldn't think of anything – and before he seemed to process where he really was he had opened the door.

"Sas-?"

Naruto froze yet again. Inside the dim bedroom with windows covered with bright colored scarves, he saw his former lover, the person he admired most in the whole world, the only person he… loved, riding another man.

Not processing anything at all, and just standing there in the door – staring – he saw the raven move up and down, moaning, groaning and..

"Who the fuck are you!" the man currently under Sasuke, yelled at Naruto, making him return from his momentarily brain freezing.

"I.. uhm.. erh.. I.." the blond looked at the man who yelled, staring him in the eyes, as he still had Sasuke on top – who hadn't stop.

"I said who the fuck are you!?" the man had dark hair and his eyes, they seemed almost snake like. This time the raven on top of him, turned to look what the fuss was about, and as he looked at the blond, Naruto locked eyes with him. They seemed hazy, over glazed and there wasn't as much as a reaction, as Sasuke turned to look at the man beneath him again, still riding him.

"sorry!" Naruto quickly closed the door with a slam, and bolted out from the building.

"Oh so did the whore have visit?" the dark haired male grinned as he saw the blond run down the stairs and halted at the end of the stairs, where the two males still were standing and smoking.

"he has to earn money like the rest of us.." the other male said, as he lightered another fag.

"earn money? Is he.. " Naruto looked confused at the other man.

"He is a whore.. I told you blondie.. he fucks for a living." The taller of the two males shrugged and heaved a lungful of smoke.

"Sasuke.. no.. he wouldn't.. I know Sas-"

"you saw it yourself kid, he fucks, and if I didn't know better, I would say he liked it too.." The man looked at Naruto who just stood phased out.

'Sasuke.. fucks people for money..' Naruto sat down on the stairs leading out.

"you seem surprised, you didn't know? That's new.. he is a rather famous too.. he is one of the prettiest male whores in whole of china town.." The man laughed as he said the words with much sarcasm loaded into them.

If Naruto really had listened he would have punched him in that smirking face, but he was a bit too surprised to find out that his boyfriend – cause they hadn't really broken up, or so was his view on it all- to be fucking anybody willing to put money on the table.

"he is expensive too.. " the other male commented as the two unknown males stood and discussed the whore Sasuke.

Naruto only heard a fraction of what they talked about, all his brain was processing was the picture of Sasuke riding another person, another person there wasn't him. He saw before him how the raven's pink lips slowly parted to moan out those sweet sounds he hadn't heard for a long time. How his hips rocketed up and down and how the other males dick disappeared into the warm cavern that belonged to him. HIM! Sasuke was his fucking boyfriend!

Getting more and more angered than he had been to begin with, Naruto could feel how his blood began to boil – getting hotter and hotter. Why the hell did the Uchiha sink this low, how could he? His pride almost forbid him to even think of smoking, and here he was, fucking and taking drugs – fuck!

Sitting half an hour on the steps Naruto heard a door slam and the male he had seen in the bed with the raven walked down the steps casually, tucking his shirt into his leather pants and making his jacket sit straight again.

"Next time wait your turn you fucking moron.." the man passed the blond, who had his fist balled in anger. He wanted to throw a punch at the man, he desperately wanted to. But instead he just took the insult, and walked up to Sasuke's flat again.

He had couple of questions, and someone needed to get beaten, and there was only one person left to beat up to a pulp.

_He was my best friend, I tried to help him,  
But he traded everything, for suffering,  
And found himself alone._

"SASUKE!" Naruto slammed the door open into the apartment, and slammed it closed again, and just stood glued to the floor as he could see the raven move around in the bedroom.

"I can't right now.. have to wait till tomorrow.. where the hell did I put my lighter.." Out from the bedroom walked a naked raven haired man. His skin was slightly red, and his hair ruffled up. He had some money which he tucked into a jar on the coffee table.

"Sasuke! Damit! Look at me bastard.." the anger there had fueled the blond was slowly dissolving, and replaced by something else.. pity? Sadness?

The raven merely just looked at the blond in bored expression as he lit a fag.

"Who are you again?" Sasuke sat down on the torn couch, as he puffed on his fag, and lined up a row of white powder from the little bag Naruto had seen earlier.

"you little.." Naruto walked over to the Uchiha and slapped the smoke out of his hands, straddling both of Sasuke's hands to the sofa's back piece, as he sat down on the naked raven's thighs – immobilizing him completely.

"Don't tell me you have forgotten me you little bitch.." Naruto felt the urge to beat the sense back into Sasuke, but as he looked into the dark orbs, he could tell that the Uchiha was gone. He was simply just too high to even think.

"I don't know you. Now let me go you piece of shit.." the raven wiggled in the strong hold of the blond, and the more he turned, the more he could feel Naruto tighten around his wrists.

"ow.. that hurts you little.."

"Oh so that hurts?" Naruto squeezed hard around the right wrist of Sasuke's.

"let go.."

"Try and see your best friend high, or maybe your lover getting fucked by another man.. try and see if that fucking hurts!" releasing the wrist he had squeezed hard, he slapped Sasuke on the side of the head, with so much force that Sasuke's head turned to the side.

Spitting blood out, Sasuke glared at the man above him.

"try that one more time and I swear I will kill you.."

Noting the threat Naruto hit again, and again Sasuke's head flew to the side.

"You fucking bitch!" Lashing out after the blond, the Uchiha's hand was caught, he sat still as he saw Naruto hold around his wrist again. Naruto squeezed around the wrist, but stopped, which made the raven nervous. Maybe the blond was going to snap it, and break it in two – he was a bit afraid.

"you really don't remember do you?" Naruto slowly let go of Sasuke's right wrist.

"what are you talking about?" cocking a dark brow Sasuke looked at the blond, who had seized with his hitting, and was now just looking at him.. his startling blue eyes.. they seemed so familiar..

Naruto looked into the dark onyx eyes, trying hard to make Sasuke remember past his high and back to when he lived there. He couldn't have forgotten.. he couldn't.

"I.. don't remember you.." Sasuke finally said, seeing the little spark in the blue eyes disappear.

"Fuck it.. you have to remember.. we lived together here! We.. we had sex everywhere in this flat!" Naruto squeezed at Sasuke's left wrist as he furrowed his brows, angered.

"Ow! I said I don't remember! Let go you asshole!" Sasuke tried with his free hand to push the stubborn blond man off him.

"You fucking have to!" Naruto took hold of the raven's right wrist again, and straddled it against the couch, as he crashed his lips against Sasuke's, licking with his tongue on the Uchiha's fine pink bottom lip.

Parting his lips a little, Naruto grabbed the chance and forced his tongue inside the raven's mouth. Caressing the others wet muscle; he felt how Sasuke slowly forgot to struggle against him, forgetting that he wanted to get free.

Exploring Sasuke's mouth he could taste the bitterness from the smoke, but he just deepened the kiss as much as he could, making their teeth hit sometimes.

Slowly parting their lips, their tongues left a trail of saliva between them, as they sat in the couch, both panting a little and both with a hint of rose to their cheeks.

"fuck you dobe.." Sasuke leaned his head against the blonds front, gasping for air.

"Fuck you for leaving me.."

_I watched the lying, turn into hiding,  
With scars on both his lips, his fingertips...  
Were melted to the bone._

Naruto smiled as he let go of the raven's wrists, and wrapped his arms around the raven, tucking him close against his chest.

"fuck you Uzumaki.. you shouldn't have come.." tears began running down the raven's cheeks and down his lips, as he began shaking.

"get the fuck away!" Sasuke pushed the blond off him, and bolted for the bedroom, locking it as he closed the door. Naruto had reached the door as he had locked it, and began hitting on it.

"Sasuke! Damit! Open the fuck up! I mean it you bastard! You need help!"

"Oh so now I need help? Thanks a lot Idiot! Where were you a year ago? Or 2 years ago? Huh? You weren't in this stinking hell hole, broke and on the verge of being thrown out.."

"Sasuke.. please open the door.. this is silly.." Naruto hit the door, before he fell to his knees.

"Silly!? Fuck off Naruto.. fuck off to your rockstar wonderland.. and don't show your face here again!" on the other side of the door, a shaking raven sat, stalk naked and in need of his drugs.

"Just.. fuck off!" He wanted that coke now.

"Sasuke please!"

"I said fuck off!" it was right there, past the door, waiting for him – the fine white heaven.

A helpless tear fell down the sun kissed cheek, and was dried away with the back of the palm. How had it gotten this far..

"Sasuke.."

"leave Naruto!" that coke was practically screaming his name.

Naruto got up and put a hand on the door. He wanted so much to just.. hold Sasuke. To have the old grumpy but loving Uchiha back.. he would trade anything in the world for it.

Sighing in defeat, Naruto left the flat, looking on last time back at the bedroom door, before he closed the door into the flat.

_But I can still remember what his face looked like,  
When I found him in an alley in the middle of the night.  
Tell me what you know! Tell me what you gone and done now!  
Tell me what you know! Tell me what you gone and done now!  
A gun would do the trick, get it over with,  
You're better off...  
To take all you've got and burn it on the spot,  
Just to get high-igh, igh, igh _

Naruto sat in his hotel room, his head in his hands. How the hell did the Uchiha get into such deep shit? Prostitution and drugs, how the hell did he get into such bad company? He couldn't match it up in his head, it just didn't add up. Sasuke was way too cool to be shanghaied into drugs easy, or at all. He must have been tricked, or forced.

Naruto wrapped his fingers around the blond locks. He only had a week off before he had to return to San Francisco, but he couldn't leave things as they were here. He couldn't just turn his back to Sasuke, not again.

"fuck.. what am I going to do.." Naruto got up and walked out to the joining bathroom and turned on the shower. Pulling of his shirt he looked into the mirror, facing him on the left side wall. He looked at himself, his ragged hair all messy, his skin tanned from the hard sun out west and as he turned his back he saw the scar he had gotten by accident, when he and Sasuke had chosen to have sex against a fence.

He smiled as he recalled the fond memory of that evening, which quickly faded into nothing. The sex he and Sasuke had shared were always passionate and heated, never just.. sex. He unbuckled his pants and took them off, along with his socks and boxers.

He stepped into the water and closed his eyes. As he did he saw before him the look Sasuke had given him while he had seen him have sex with the other man. It looked like there wasn't anything left, like Sasuke wasn't even there, but just an empty shell.

Finishing up the bath Naruto did nothing but to think of Sasuke. As he got dressed in a pair of black slacks and a dark blue shirt he looked into the mirror. He was going to meet with an old friend from his days as garage rock band and he didn't need to think of Sasuke when they went out for drinks. He just didn't want to.

Arriving at the pub where he and his friend were going to meet he thought of Sasuke as he saw a man light a cigarette. He didn't particular think much over it, but Sasuke had never smoked before, he hadn't seen it before today.

Succeeding in not thinking about Sasuke for well most of the evening, he couldn't deny that he had spaced out once in a while, but he just brushed it off when his friend asked if he was okay. He didn't need to tell about how Sasuke fucks for living, a living for drugs, and more sex. He figured he needed the drugs to forget about how many people travelled through his stained bed sheets.

Feeling the night air nipple at his skin, Naruto chose to walk home. He needed to get his head aired. After all he had heard and seen that day – not only about Sasuke but his friend as well – he just needed to get it all out in an arm length, or else he wasn't sure he was going to be able to breathe.

As he walked down the sidewalk, he heard some loud sounds, canisters falling and then something sounding much like a fight.

He began running over to the alley and down the small road between the two buildings.

"hey!"

He saw a person look up as he ran down the alley, and then the person ran for it, before he could catch up.

"OI!" As he saw the man run and was about to yell profanities and run after him he heard a sound from behind him. He saw that a person moved under the garbage from the canister, sounding in pain.

"Oh my god, are you okay!?" Naruto sat down on one knee helping the person free from the garbage, so they could stand up, but as he just got the person up, the person just fell in his grasp down to the ground.

"Oi.. hang in! Oi! can you hear me!" feeling that he was beginning to panic, Naruto scoped the person up in his arms, and carried him out of the dark alley. He was too panicked to call an ambulance, so he just pulled the first cab he saw in.

As he waited for the cab to stop, he looked down on the person and for the first time he was able to see who it was.

"fuck.. Sasuke.."

"are you getting in or what?" the cabdriver looked annoyed at the blond man standing with another man in his arms.

"pop the door open will ya.." placing Sasuke carefully on the backseat, Naruto gave directions to his hotel.

As they arrived to the hotel, he took Sasuke in his arms again and walked in.

"Sir? Are you alright? Should we call an ambulance?" the hotel manager looked concerned at the blond as he carried an unconscious person in his arms.

"no, but send some ice and towels to my room.." getting into the elevator, Naruto pushed the button to the top floor and finally arrived at his room.

Putting Sasuke down on the bed, Naruto ran out to the bathroom and opened the faucets fully to the hottub. He then ran back to the bed, he took Sasuke in his arms and carried him out to the bathroom, and placed him down on the floor.

As he was about to pull the shirt of the raven, he saw in the strong bright light how the clothes were torn. He had felt them dangle when he had carried him, but didn't think much of it, but under the bright light he saw how the shirt was ripped down the Uchiha's pale shoulder, how the normally tight fitted jeans were torn in the seams.

"Sir?" a maid knocked on the door and opened it.

"leave it on the bed!" Naruto didn't have time to thank the maid, and just yelled much harder than he meant, and scared the maid who quickly closed the door.

Pulling the leftovers from the shirt of Sasuke, he could hear the raven grunt.

"who.. where am.." unable to focus the raven slipped off again, unconscious.

Slowly sliding the jeans off Sasuke, afraid of causing further pain, he saw they were blood stained in the back, and as he trailed them down the raven's thighs, the blood made a trail.

It was too much. It was simply too much. Pulling the raven into his embrace Naruto cried. He cried for Sasuke. He cried how someone had… raped, drugged and used him. He cried for Sasuke, and for how he must have been longing for Naruto to be there.

The tears just fell down his cheek, and he cried out loudly, tucking the unconscious raven close. Sniffing and stifling his cries, Naruto held the Uchiha so he could look at him. His dark hair clung to his pale face, his body was filled with bruises. Putting the dark haired man down, he got up and turned the water off, before stripping out of his outfit getting naked.

He then took the raven and sat down in the tub, the warm water stinging his skin as he sat down, having the raven leaning against his front.

Taking a towel and dipping it in the water, he began washing Sasuke off, getting the trash and blood of him. As he slowly stroked the pale chest, a dark eye peered open.

"wha-.. where am i!!" Sasuke panicked and was almost up from the tub, when Naruto got hold on his should and pulled him slowly down.

"Sasuke it's okay.."

Turning around Sasuke saw the blond sit behind him, in a tub full of warm water.. how had he..

"Where am i? how did I get here!?" Sasuke suddenly winced and fell down into the tub, making water spill over the tub's edge.

"Sasuke!?" Naruto sat up on his knees, and fished the raven up from under the water. He gasped as he felt the blond hold him in a tight embrace, not seeming to let go. He coughed and winced as he felt an unbearable pain in all of his body.

He then remembered fragments of what had happened. He was hitting on a white haired older man, he asked if he had wanted some "fun". Sasuke needed the money to buy more heroins from his dealer, and had therefore gone out seeking willing men. And after some minutes with the man, he had turned on him. He had ripped his shirt and he was hit in the face, so he felt to the ground and then..

A tear left his dark eyes. He had been..

Sasuke leaned against the blond's toned chest, feeling Naruto kiss the top of his head.

He had been raped.

"naru.."

The least person he had expected to see was Naruto.. and yet the blond had been there, he had taken him with him. He had been there even though he had said he didn't want to see his face again.

"I know.." Naruto just sat and rocketed back and forth with the raven a little while, hearing the raven cry against his chest.

Naruto let go off the raven and got up, slinging a towel around his waist, before he patted into the bedroom and grabbing something in his bag and heading back to the bathroom.

"here.. they are painkillers.." handing the two white pills with a glass of water to Sasuke, who drank it, he put the glass back down and got into the tub again.

Sitting with his back against the tub, Naruto signaled for Sasuke to come close, and the raven hesitated for a short while before he leaned his back against the blond's toned front.

Naruto took the towel and began slowly scrubbing the raven again. As they sat there in silence, none of them spoke. The blond didn't feel like he could ask the raven what have happened, he had after all.. abandoned him.

As they finished up, and got toweled, Sasuke looked at the blond. Naruto had gotten more toned, his muscles just being visible, giving him another look from the teenage look he had had when they lived together. He now looked mature, older.. sexier.

Feeling the raven look at him, Naruto smiled at him, making the raven turn his head and look at something else – though earning the dark haired male a pair of rosy cheeks.

Handing Sasuke a pair of boxers and a shirt, Naruto demanded.

"You are staying here tonight."

Sasuke nodded and got dressed, before they both slipped under the fine cotton blankets spread out on the bed. In the dark Naruto could feel Sasuke scoot closer, though without touching the blond – even though they just had been sitting naked against each other in the tub.

Naruto grinned in the dark, and took hold of the raven's waist, pulling him across the bed and into his embrace, so they were spooning. He snuggled his nose against the raven's neck, before he placed a kiss there and sighed. They were both quiet, but it was as if Naruto heard a "thank you.." through the dark.

_Three days no sleeping, he gave up eating,  
He sold his mother's rings, she said nothing,  
And pretended not to know...  
He started stealing, to supply the feeling,  
Found out he pulled a knife, on someone's wife...  
And held it to her throat._

Lying awake in the dark, the raven couldn't sleep. He was stalk awake, in pain and he knew what would help; it was out in the bathroom, in the front left pocket.

Hearing the blond sound asleep, Sasuke pried himself loose from the dominating hold Naruto had had on him. He got loose and winced as he sat up on the edge of the bed, slowly getting up without waking Naruto.

He sneaked into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He then quickly located his torn blood stained jeans, and found what he was looking for. He threw the jeans on the floor, and snorted. It wasn't like it was the first time it had happened; it was just the first time he hadn't received payment.

Finding a mirror and placing it on the edge of the tub, he lined 2 rows of the magical powder from heaven and then he held a finger on one nostril before sniffing first the one row and changing side and taking the second row. He coughed a little, before he licked the rest of the powder from the mirror.

The shit was his savior.

He then flumped down beside the tub and felt how his veins felt warm, and how he slowly but surely got a blurry vision accompanied with the buzzy feeling that made his whole body tingle. It was like an aphrodisiac and painkiller in a bag.

He smiled as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back and leaned it against the edge of the tub, making the mirror fall down in the tub.

Naruto blinked as he heard a sound.

"Sasuke…?" he felt for the raven on the bed, feeling it was still warm where he had been lying. Panicking as he found out that the raven was missing, he tore the sheet of and quickly ran over to the door into the hotel room, but it was still locked. So he hadn't left the room.

He then saw light from the bathroom, and walked over to the door, grabbing in the handle, feeling it was locked.

"Sasuke?"

The raven just sat against the tub, high, and noting nothing of what happened around him. He had taken 2 lanes and then one more a little while after, and was beyond stoned.

Naruto tried to listen if Sasuke was pissing or something, but no sound came from bathroom.

"Sasuke! Damit! Open up!?" Naruto hit the door hard with his fists, and soon enough got it open.

"Sasuke, fuck.." the raven had passed out on the floor, blood streaming out of his nose and onto the tiled floor. The blond quickly got the raven up and shook him, but go no reaction. He was all gone.

"fuck.. bastard!" finding some melted ice, he poured it over the raven, who gasped and woke to life.

Naruto thanked god he wasn't dead, or else he wouldn't know what he would have done.

Taking a towel he dried the blood away, and pulled the shirt of the Uchiha, so he didn't get cold. As he put the shirt down he saw the bag, with its contents gone.

"you sniffed the whole bag! How much was in here?!" Naruto shook Sasuke, who couldn't focus and just changed from unconscious to conscious.

"Answer me you dumb fuck!" angered Naruto took the bag and threw it out in the garbage shaft (meant only for personnel), along with the clothes. He hit Sasuke on the side of the head for good measures and threw him into bed.

Next morning as he woke, he found the raven gone again, bed cold. He threw the sheets of again, but only to find the raven sit and look out the window. His eyes glistening in the morning sun there were overlooking the magnificent city.

He sat on the edge of the bed, and heaved a sigh, tucking in his blond locks in relief that Sasuke was still there.

"you thought I had left.." the raven said, not looking at the blond who sat with his back against the raven.

"I.. don't know.." Naruto looked over his shoulder at the raven. He looked much like the old Sasuke as he sat there in the window – his dark hair messy from the bed, his eyes focused and his body..

"you thought I was going to leave you behind.." finally looking at the blond, Sasuke stared directly into the blue of the blonds eyes.

"You thought I would leave you.. as you left me.." he then looked out the window again.

Naruto got up from the bed and walked over to the raven, leaning against the wall beside the window, looking at the Uchiha with an intense gaze.

"Why did you do it.."

Eyes darting down to the people on the street, Sasuke said nothing.

"why did you do it… Sasuke.." Naruto crossed his arms as he still held his gaze on the raven.

Sasuke looked shortly out the corner of his eye at the blond and back at the ant size people on the street. He didn't say anything, he just.. sat there.

"tell me sas-"

"What!? Tell you what! What do you want to hear Naruto!??" Sasuke hollered at the blond, furrowing his brows, breathing hard as he had used a lungful of air on his words.

"what is it you want to hear so much?" Sasuke got up and stood in front of the blond, who had straightened himself from the wall.

"you want to hear how I started drugs? Is that it or is it how I started being a whore!? Huh? Well let me tell you rockstar, I was raped and got drugs to numb the pain, and then I got addicted and you know what, there is only one way to get cash really fast.. and that is to fuck your way to it.. but you wouldn't happen to know cause you got yours on a silver pla-"

Naruto hit Sasuke on the side of the head, making him fall to the floor. Sasuke looked up at the blond, seeing the blue eyes dripping with tears overflowing them.

"I didn't get back here to find you fucking to get high! I didn't leave this behind to come back and find that you.. that you.. have been fucking a million people to get yourself a gram of happiness!"

Naruto pointed out on the street as he pointed out the million people. He looked at Sasuke with tears dripping down his cheeks and onto the floor. His eyes seemed red and he couldn't hold his gaze on the Uchiha, who just sat on the floor, eyes narrowed at the blond.

Sasuke got up, and crossed his arms.

"I didn't have a fucking choice you unknowing asshole.. I had stole what I could too supply my coke, but after there wasn't more I could steal you know what I did? You want to know.. I pulled a knife on a woman, threatening her to give me all her money.. " Naruto stood with jaw wide open as he heard the words spilling out from the dark haired man in front of him.

Sasuke's hand ran under his nose. He was in need of more coke.. he could start to feel how his body was beginning to react to the lack of it. Naruto saw how Sasuke averted his eyes, and how his body seemed to shake and how his hands began to drum against his skin.

"you held a knife on an innocent to get yourself high..?"

"you dumb or something.. I already told you that.." Sasuke began feeling cold, and his body began feeling sore again as it had been last night.

If only he could call his dealer, then he could get a fix and get out of this horrible feeling he was having.

"are you even listening to yourself!? You threatened someone that they might die if they didn't supply you with money so you could go and get yourself a fix in that stinking whore house!"

Sasuke looked at Naruto, his eyes flickering and his body ice cold and drenched in cold sweat.

"You fucking idiot, you don't know what it feels like! You don't know what it feels like to live in that so called whore house! No job, no money and only creepy old men fucking you to supply you with what little happiness you can get! You don't know the half of it!"

Sasuke turned and walked over to the blonds bag tearing the first and the best pair of jeans out, along with a shirt, before he was about to stomp barefoot out the hotel room.

"Sasuke you dumb bastard! Stay damit! I can help you.." Naruto held onto Sasuke's arm as he took the jeans on.

"help? Help me? You think I need help? I am beyond that Naruto.. this is my life.. and I fucking live it as I choose to.. you can just go back to your little sweet wonderland!" He pulled his arm from the blonds hold, walked over to the door.

"how? You are just going to be fucking and taking drugs till the day you pass out of an overdose.. and how is that happiness.." Naruto looked at Sasuke as he took the door handle and froze.

He looked back at the blond, feeling nauseous and sick, and into the blue eyes, there seemed so hurt.

"its better than to live without you.." the raven opened the door and closed it with a slam.

Naruto stood looking at the door as it was closed. He hadn't moved. He hadn't tried to stop the raven haired older male from leaving his room, why?

He walked over to the window and looked out and saw the little dot on the ground there was Sasuke, walking back to china town.

He hadn't stopped Sasuke because he didn't know what he needed to do nor say to be there for him.. he didn't.. he wasn't.. he couldn't just take Sasuke with him.. could he?

Naruto sat down on the bed, grabbing his notebook and pencil. He never thought that the passive, nonchalant, controlled dark haired older man had turned into a quivering drug addict who no longer possessed any of those qualities. He had yelled at him like he had never heard or seen before, and he had said things Naruto had never thought that Sasuke was ever capable of doing. He had stolen from his own mother to supply his addiction. He had held a knife on someone's wife, to supply the feeling..

Naruto scribbled some random lines down on the paper, as he sighed. He still remembered how Sasuke had looked when he saw him last night. His hair messed, his clothes torn..

Throwing the notebook fucking far away, Naruto pulled his knees up and curled his arms around them, letting his head rest against the knees. How the fuck had it gone this far, why hadn't he returned for a year ago, why hadn't he returned and forced Sasuke to come and live with him – then all of this wouldn't have happened, then Sasuke would still be his.. and Sasuke wouldn't..

He couldn't hold the tears back. It hurt so much to think about, that Sasuke had been raped, and not only once.. He had been drugged to live through it, but instead got sunk in. He.. it was his fault.. he was responsible for this.

_But I can still remember what his face looked like,  
When I found him in an alley in the middle of the night.  
Tell me what you know! Tell me what you gone and done now!  
Tell me what you know! Tell me what you gone and done now!  
A gun would do the trick, get it over with,  
You're better off...  
To take all that you've got and burn it on the spot,  
Just to get high-igh, igh, igh (high-igh, igh, igh).  
Tell me what did, where you gone and hid?  
Show me, is what you really want, watching what you've got  
Slowly...!  
Circling the drain, throw it all away,  
Just to get high-igh, igh, igh (high-igh, igh, igh).  
High-igh, igh...oooooh!_

Sasuke leaned back in his couch as he had taken his fix, leaving the needle on the coffee table, feeling how the brick of reality be torn away from his wall. He closed his eyes and all he could sense was how heavy his body felt and how his mind seemed to spin around like in a Mary go round. He had not eaten since he had left Naruto's apartment, and all he wanted to do was to shoot himself high and forget about Naruto, the people he had to fuck to get more drugs and how he was going to meet rent deadline. He wanted to just sit in his apartment and forget it all.

_(High-igh-igh-igh, high-igh-igh-igh)  
High_

Tearing the door open, Naruto found Sasuke on the couch, looking at the blond man with those glazed eyes of his. His sight flickered and he couldn't keep his eyes open long enough to watch the blond find a bag, stuffing it with some of his things, his jar of money, his passport, a couple of his belongings.

_  
(High-igh-igh-igh, high-igh-igh-igh)  
High_

After taking the bag over his shoulder, he picked the raven up in his arms again, feeling the raven hit him, though not hard, he was too weak to real being able to hit him that hard. He walked down the hall and out to a waiting cab. He almost threw Sasuke into the back seat and his bag into the trunk of the bright yellow vehicle.

"Airport, now, go." Naruto ordered, stuffing a 20 dollar bill into the man's hands, as he held onto Sasuke and sat back in the cab, waiting for them to reach the airport.

_Tell me what you know! Tell me what you gone and done now!  
Tell me what you know! Tell me what you gone and done now!  
A gun would do the trick, get it over with,  
You're better off...  
To take all that you've got and burn it on the spot,  
Just to get high-igh, igh, igh (high-igh, igh, igh).  
Tell me what did, where you gone and hid?  
Show me, is what you really want, watching what you've got  
Slowly...!  
Circling the drain, throw it all away,  
Just to get high-igh, igh, igh, igh  
Just to get high-igh, igh, igh, igh  
Circling the drain, throw it all away,  
Just to get high-igh, igh, igh, igh._

It was going to be sunny on the other side, and there he didn't need to pay so he could live a happy life, no there he could earn money for having a happy life..

It was all just a new beginning.

For the both them.

* * *

**Hope you liked it, it was my first try at this kind of story, so I would be happy for reviews.**

**Tha Perv.**


	2. far away

**A/N Not beta tested cause i just wrote it. **

**sequel to "just to get high´. since ppl think so much of it, i decided to continue, and i did, and i picked another one of nickelback's tracks, called "far away"from their album.. smt smt. can't remember. I would like for you to look it up on youtube, and search for the piano version, since thats the one i have been referring to in this story. It really does make my heart cry when listening to it. T.T**

**SO!**

**in other news, i will be ending the summer soon, along with "yamaha my love" since i will be in japan! (for a whoooole month!) and then i will be out travelling as a guide, so its scrace what i will write if i will write. this will be the only thing i might update after i have ended the others. BUT! as an extra treat i will put out chapter one of the sequel to the summer, just because i love to tease you guys. :)**

**R&R!**

* * *

White. It was all white. The walls, the floor, the curtains that hang beside the huge window, the furniture – everything was the purest of snow white.

A black eye opened slowly as Sasuke sat up in the bed there were in the white room, the sun was up and his eyes couldn't handle the bright color of daylight. A small drop of sweat trickled down his temple and he could little by little feel how his body began to wake to life.

He was cold, but dripping with sweat, his head hurt and his eyes slowly got adjusted to the bright light, and only moments after he had awaken he could feel how he needed to throw up, and did so by the beds side.

As he wiped the leftovers of puke away from his mouth with the back of his arm, he finally got a look at the room he was in. It really was incredibly white, even the bed was just all white with white sheets.

Was he in some sort of a fancy hospital? No.. it didn't seem like a hospital, there was a somewhat warm feeling to the snow white room. He got up from the bed, discovering it was a Japanese futon placed rather randomly in the center of the room.

The world seemed like it was involuntarily spinning around, and his head hurt like he was just in some accident, and he placed his hands on his temples, trying to gain some balance. As he walked over to the closets object that he could support on, he saw white frames, filled with pictures.

He saw…

"Naruto?"

Upon the white dresser was placed a lot of pictures, all of Naruto and people Sasuke didn't know. There also were some of the old friends from back in China town, but none of Sasuke. Come to think of it, they never had had a camera before, and it would make sense there were no pictures of them together.

Sasuke opened the door into what there was a hallway, decorated in warm earthy colors. He desperately leaned to the walls as he made his way down the hall.

He entered what there looked like a living room, and found even more pictures scattered around on the many bookcases and bookshelves.

As he walked through the living room, he saw a lonely picture placed alone on a shelf, with nothing else.

As he picked it up his eyes grew a little in surprise. It was of him and Naruto. It showed him sitting with his back against the front of the blond, just like back when Naruto had saved him in that alley… But, this picture showed the blond kissing him. He had a hand underneath Sasuke's chin, carefully tipping his head up so their lips touched in a warm kiss.

Sasuke remembered that day clearly.

It was year's ago, when they both still goofed around and Naruto wasn't anything more than a guitarist in the old garage band. That particular day they had all - Naruto, Sasuke and all of their friends from the garage band and more- left everything behind and gone on a picnic in central park, with blankets and all that came with a true picnic. They were sitting and laughing and playing games, just enjoying one of the early spring days in NY.

Naruto had with some effort persuaded Sasuke to sit with him, and even though all of their friends knew they were a couple, Sasuke still didn't like to show it so public.

But on that day one of their friends had taken a camera with them, one of those old ones with films in, and taken pictures, and he had teased Naruto to kiss Sasuke all day, and finally the blond had grinned and taken Sasuke's chin up and kissed him, closing his blue eyes as he did so.

As Sasuke stood with the picture of that day, he could see how torn it was. It had been folded and was a little dirty.. Naruto had probably had it on him since back then.

It was.. one of the most fondest memories Sasuke has from back then.

As he put the frame and picture down again, he made his way into what there was another hallway, this one also in earthy colors.

'I am in Naruto's home.. so that must mean I am in.. San Francisco?' Sasuke still leaned against the walls, as he walked into the hallway.

"hallo..?" he couldn't just be all alone in the apparently huge house, could he?

As he walked a little further he could hear a piano play and walked towards the sound, and discovered that it was Naruto sitting behind the big black piano, playing something..

The Uchiha stood in the door into the room and listened to how Naruto's fingers danced across the black and white pieces, creating beautiful music..

_This time, this place _

_misused, mistakes _

_too long, too late _

_who was I to make you wait _

_just one chance _

_just one breath _

_just in case there's just one left _

_cause you know _

_you know, you know _

_that I love you _

_I have loved you all along _

_and I miss you _

_been far away for far too long _

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me _

_and you'll never go _

_stop breathing _

_if I don't see you anymore__…_

His rough voice echoed along with the notes of the piano in the room, and as he got a hang of the lyrics he closed his eyes, which made Sasuke tilt his head, and still completely.

Naruto looked like he meant the lyrics, like he was pouring his heart out.. it was hard not.. to stare.

Opening his blue eyes again, he stopped, and picked up the pencil and began scribbling things down on his piece of paper there were in front of him.

"Naruto?" coming out from his hiding spot at the door, the Uchiha leaned against the wall by the door.

"You're up I see.." and with just one action, Sasuke's heart skipped a beat, and it was because of Uzumaki's smile as he had said the words.

"How long have I been sleeping?" trying to shake the feeling off him, the raven looked at Naruto with his usual glare.

"2 days.. or so. " Naruto got up from the piano and walked over to Sasuke, standing right in front of him.

"…"

"You should rest-" and before he could complete his sentence he was caught short by Sasuke..

"Naruto I need drugs." Naruto looked a little bit baffled as Sasuke said the words so bluntly.

"I need them, I can feel the abstinent begin Naruto.. I can't.. I can't survive without them.." Sasuke turned his head avoiding Naruto's gaze at him.

He knew he needed them, the only reason he would throw up and that he was this miserable was because of the lack of coke.

"No."

"Naruto you don't underst-"

"I understand Sasuke, but I didn't drag your ass across the country just so you could continue what you left.."

"Then why did you?"

There was silence for a couple of moments, and the blond walked over to a window.

"I did it, because I should have done it years ago.. Sasuke." He looked at the older raven haired male, his eyes filled with such guilt it took the usual sparkle away from them.

"I.. can't tell you how I have many times I have thought of you, how I wished that you were here.. how I had hoped you would appear before my eyes one day.. 'cause it won't help and it doesn't matter now..it didn't stop what happened to you and it's also too late now.."

The dark eyes couldn't withstand the blue ones, and darted to the ground.

'He is really… a moron..'

Sasuke's eyes got blurry and he without any warning fell crashing to the floor.

"Sasuke! Sasuke hang in there!"

Naruto picked up the raven and he could feel how sweat soaked he was, his clothes was sticking to his skin like he had been under a shower, and he was so cold..

Opening the door into the bedroom he could smell how it reeked like someone died in there, and as he put Sasuke down on the bed he found that the raven had puked by the bed.

"Damn.. so I have to change sheets.." He heaved air in as he took Sasuke into the bathroom, placing him gently on the floor.

"..sheets first.. then shower.."

He dried the puke up with the sheets and walked out to throw them into the washer, turned it on, and walked back to Sasuke.

Naruto took off his shirt and turned on the shower and took yet again a hold around the raven's waist and walked under the ray of hot water. Naruto still had his jeans on, and Sasuke still had his shirt and boxers on, but Naruto figured that the Uchiha was drenched anyway and he didn't really bother to take his own off.

"Wha-" Sasuke coughed as he swallowed some of the hot water.

"God, finally awake sleeping beauty?" Naruto loosened his hold on around Sasuke.

"Why are we in the shower.. with clothes on?" if he had had enough energy he would had let that comment follow along with a lifted brow and a glare, but he hadn't and just let it slip dryly of his lips.

"Well… I would have put you to bed if you hadn't puked all over it, so this was the only thing I could come up with to keep you warm."

Naruto stroked his wet locks back and put his forehead against the ravens, which surprised Sasuke since the blond suddenly was so close to his face – the proximity was for a short moment unfamiliar to him.

"You're still ice cold, so you should stay a little longer until I have the bed ready again.." Naruto opened the shower door and took a step outside as he felt a tuck in his jeans, he looked back at the raven and his body, and how water dripped down it in an extremely sexy manner.

"Could you stay.. I can't stand up alone that well.. " He hated it, not that he felt like his body was corroding, but that a giant blush crept up on his cheeks. And it sounded so cliché too! Like some stupid line a girl would throw at a guy. But he could at least hide the blush as being something relating to his lack of drugs.

"Okay.. but only a little while, I need to make your bed.." taking a step back into the shower, closing the glass door, Naruto pulled Sasuke closer to him.

"..god your cold.. we need to keep you warm." his arms wrapped themselves around the raven's torso, and Sasuke's arms wrapped around Naruto's neck.

"I feel like shit.. Can't you just give me the drugs?" Sasuke's cheeks were burning, and his eyes were half lidded so he wouldn't get water into them. His body was ice cold, but surely he could feel it react to Naruto who had pulled them together in order for Sasuke to regain body warmth.

"No.. I won't, you just got to stick it out.." Naruto's hand crawled underneath Sasuke's shirt and rested on the lower of his back, though it gave a chill down the Uchiha's spine he didn't bother to remove it. It sort of felt.. calming.

"You know it's going to be worse.. right? I haven't been craving them so much yet.." The dark half lidded eyes looked into blue ones and he wasn't supposed to.. he didn't want to.. he-

"I know.. and I will stick it out.. as will you, right?" Naruto's hand crawled up his back and the other hand down, down to Sasuke's sweet ass.

"i.. hope so.." he didn't want to, he had told himself no more, and yet Sasuke closed the little distance there had been between their faces, and kissed the blond. He nipped at the plum bottom lip of Naruto, and the young Uzumaki opened his mouth, giving way for the raven's tongue, letting him roam his mouth hungrily.

Without any resistance at all, Naruto's hand crept down Sasuke's drenched boxers and squeezed the tight ass, and without noticing anything else than Naruto kissing him, the blond withdrew his hand from Sasuke's back and placed it against the tiled wall.

Naruto could feel himself getting hard really fast, and with good reason, he hadn't had sex in two years. Unbelievable for most but that was the way of Uzumaki, once he put his heart on the line for someone, he wouldn't falter the least. Not even for cheap whores or brothels.

"mmnh.."Sasuke moaned into the kiss which Naruto had come to dominate, and as Uzumaki's hand wandered down the tight piece of ass, and almost all the way down to raven's asshole, he stopped, ending the kiss abruptly.

"I can't.." Naruto withdrew his hands, and quickly stepped out the shower, closing the glass door behind him, and leaving the raven heaving for air.

He walked down the hall and into the laundry room, where he closed the door, and leaned his back against it, panting hard.

"I can't.. I am sorry Sasuke.. I want to but.. I need to know." The water piled up on the tiled floor in the laundry room, as he sat against the wooden door.

Naruto sat down with his back against the door, tilting his head against it, closing his eyes in thought.

'it has been years since I have seen Sasuke, since I last kissed him.. I wanted to.. but.. I need to know.. I need to make sure. . that he still is mine.'

Even though he had left Sasuke in the shower he could feel his body become cold from the soaked jeans and water there still was on his body. He got up and opened his jeans and took them off along with the also soaked briefs, allowing his hard on to spring free.

'fuck.. ' it was undeniable, he wanted to fuck Sasuke, but couldn't and as he stood there in the laundry room, all naked, he did the only thing he could think of..

His hand was still wet as he grabbed hard around his stiff erection, and as he pulled his hand all the way back to the base he grunted. Pictures of Sasuke, the feeling of his skin, how he had looked so seducing in the shower..

"Ah.. fuck.. Sas..-uke..mnh.." He began jerking his hand back and forth, and as he could feel his knees cave in he fell to the floor. He closed his eyes, and thought of Sasuke, of how incredible sexy he was during sex and how he would moan his name.

"Sasuke! Fuck.. I need.. you.." his hand jerked harder and faster around his dick, and as he could feel he was about to come he fell far over, supporting with one hand on the floor.

"arhh!!" he came on the tiled floor beneath him, and he milked himself until the last drop, making his body jerk for every pump he added to drain himself completely.

"..hah.. this is bad.. this is really bad.." Naruto sat down and closed his eyes.

Meanwhile Sasuke had sat down in the shower, he couldn't keep himself standing, and the warm water was beginning to feel a little cold, so he turned it off and got out. He took of the wet shirt and boxers, and unbothered found out that he was semi erect.

"..damn you Uzumaki.." he took a towel around his waist, trying to cover his erection. And walked into the bedroom – which took much effort-, where he found no Naruto and no new bed sheets. He couldn't keep his eyes open, he felt so tired, so he just got up on the futon and feel asleep with a towel slung around his waist as the only thing covering him up.

Naruto had gotten a pair of black adidas pants on and had found the new bed linen in the laundry room for the bed, and as he walked inside the white room, he found the raven sleeping with a peaceful expression on his face.

"You couldn't wait till I got the new linen on?.. sheesh.." Naruto snorted to himself, and shook Sasuke so he was awake.

"mmn.." he just turned around and roll over to the other side.

"You asked for it bastard.." Naruto pushed the raven of the futon with a loud 'thunk' he hit the floor.

"OW! What the hell are you doing!?" Sasuke sat up, and rubbed is still hurting head, and now also hurting hip.

"You can at least sleep with linen on and you're clothes are in the dresser over there.."

Naruto pointed to yet another white dresser, in the corner of the room, just by a big window.

". . . "

Putting on new sheets and linen he made the futon ready, just in time to glimpse at the raven taking on a shirt, watching how his abs stretched as he pulled it on.

"You should eat.. you are.. really skinny" Naruto looked away, finding it hard to contain himself if he saw too much of skin of the raven.

"I am not hungry.. I just want my drugs." Sasuke had taken on one of his own shirts, and a pair of boxers and a pair of grey jeans. His own clothing was much different from the blonds. The shirts were tight fitted and his jeans were slim fitted as well, making his body seem fragile and yet built.

At this point he hadn't any muscles left, mostly because he didn't bother with keeping his body in shape, and he hardly ate anything due to the drugs, they took his appetite away, and when he ate it was only something like a chinabox. It had by now made his body seem very skinny and he overall just looked very… girly.

"Have you even looked yourself in a mirror lately? You aren't just skinny you look like you are starving yourself." Naruto walked over to Sasuke, who stood by the dresser, supporting himself against it.

"If you didn't notice, I give a shit.." Sasuke gave Naruto a stiff glare, and the blond just snorted.

"You lost your touch old man.. I aint falling for your death glare, now come with me to the kitchen.."

Naruto took hold of Sasuke's hand and pulled him along, only to find that Sasuke's body wasn't answering the raven's commands.

"I might have lost my edge, but I will get it back, and I don't want any food.." Sitting on the floor, the Uchiha curled his legs up to his chest.

"Who said anything about you, I am hungry, and come on, you need to walk if want to built up a bit of muscles." The blond grinned and pulled the raven to his feet, he took both hands in his and slowly Sasuke seemed to finally gain balance, being able to walk. Though it faltered from time to time, his lack of drugs screwed with everything in him, making the world he saw distorted and his balance was from time to time gone down the drain.

As Sasuke sat down in the kitchen he saw the blond fish pots and pans from the cupboards.

"I thought you would have waiters in such a big house.." the raven snorted as he still looked at the blond, who was busy finding different remedies for his cooking.

"I do have a cleaning lady there comes once weekly but else, no." he grinned as he put down a coke in front of Sasuke.

"You can drink a coke cant you?" he cocked a blond brow as he awaited a reaction from the raven sitting at the kitchen counter.

"I guess.." Sasuke sighed and looked out the windows behind him, which held an astonishing view out over the city.

"I don't like people snooping around here so I keep it a minimum, the same goes for friends and other people. I like this to be mine, and only mine, a sanctuary. So I don't ever bring people here."

From behind him the Uchiha could hear Naruto began chopping vegetables, and that he had put a pot over with water.

'But you brought me here.. for what reason I wonder..' Sasuke took a sip from the coke and felt like he was about to die. The carbon in the coke was too much for his empty body and he pushed it away.

"Don't like it? Oh well I have other things, like milk and water.. maybe juice?" Naruto looked at the raven, who just shook his head. He felt like he could puke again if he ate anything.

"Suit yourself, FYI my cooking has improved the last two years, so it's your lost.." and there Sasuke gave his usual glare, accompanied with a lifted brow.

"Well as I said I aint got a cook, so I needed to make my own food, and since I can buy all the food I want I can kinda make everything i want. I am really good at making pork ch-"

"Naruto why did you bring me with you?"

Naruto was cut short in the middle of his sentence, and his eyes looked at Sasuke and then down at the kitchen table and the chopped vegetables. There was silence for a long time, before he could breathe a deep sigh.

"You promise you won't laugh?" Naruto still held a strong gaze at the vegetables as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world.

"I can hardly even walk, why do you think I would laugh at you at this point?" Sasuke tried to get eye contact with the blond, but he avoided the black orbs and walked out from the kitchen, where Sasuke could hear he opened some cabinets and closed them again, before returning to the kitchen.

"Okay.. I will tell you, and you will think I am stupid and you will laugh. Or snort, because that's what you do best-"

"Just tell me you idiot."

"Okay.. if you insist." Naruto walked up in front Sasuke, and got down on one knee, and even though the older Uchiha could tell by now where this was going, he was beyond surprised. He was.. paralyzed. Nothing could move his entire body even if he wanted to.

"Sasuke Uchiha, will you marry me?" Naruto opened a little black box, inside two shiny rings were placed. They were of silver, and they were just ordinary, no carvings nor gemstones, just plain round silver.

There were silence for a long while, and as Naruto kept sitting there, the Uchiha couldn't match it up in his head. What was the moron doing exactly? Had he just proposed to a drug addicted person who have been screwing and humping for the last two years? Was he… stupid?

"this.. this is why you brought me here?" Sasuke said like it was a matter of fact, and not with much emotion in the words.

"I… I wanted to bring you, but you wouldn't come, remember? So I worked like insane to get my records out, to earn some money, so I could become everything I left you for, so when the day came, I would take you with me and show you what I have done, for us."

Naruto got up, and placed the little case on the kitchen counter in front of Sasuke.

"I did it so you wouldn't feel like I left you back then for nothing, cause I didn't, I wanted to make us a home, and that is why came 3 weeks ago to your house, to bring you.. home."

Sasuke couldn't render a word; nothing he thought could come out, it sounded like a really bad joke from Naruto. Had he seriously gone through all that just so he could prove to him that he was man enough to take care of them?

"Sasuke I love you, I always have.. and.. I just want to know if you.. still love me too?" Naruto looked Sasuke in the eyes; he wanted to know, no, he needed to know.

"Naruto I.. I need time.. to think.." Sasuke left the kitchen and the blond, walking back to the bedroom, closing the door behind him, and sitting down on the futon.

A teardrop fell from sun kissed cheeks as he closed the case with the rings.

'maybe it was all a dream anyway..'

_On my knees, I'__ll ask _

_last chance for one last dance _

_'cause with you,__ I'd withstand _

_all of hell to hold your hand_

_ I'd give it all _

_I'd give it for us_

_ give anything but I won't give up _

_'cause you know _

_you know, you know _

_that I love you_

_ I have loved you all along _

_and I miss you _

_been far away for far too long_

_ I keep dreaming you'll be with me _

_and you'll never go _

_stop breathing if_

_I don't see you anymore_

He hadn't seen the blond the rest of the evening and as night fell, he thought that the blond would come, but he didn't. It was now morning and Sasuke could feel his skin itch and his heart beat, he had again puked, but this time he got to reach the bathroom in time.

His vision was blurry and he felt like he was about to die.

'So this is what happens when you don't get drugs..'

He itched and scratched his skin to blood on his arms, and as he got out of the bedroom, he felt to his knees and screamed.

It hurt. His entire body felt like it burned and like his really was about to die.

"Sasuke calm down! What's wrong!?" Naruto sat down by his side and saw the scratch marks, how his arms were torn with blunt fingernails.

"Damit Sasuke.." Naruto took Sasuke to the kitchen and put bandages around his arms.

"Naruto.. I am burning.. I can't.. I want my drugs!" Sasuke began crying and again began itching his arms, trying to rip the bandages off.

"Stop Sasuke! Stop goddamit!" Naruto held Sasuke in an iron hold, his arms on his back, and his face against the floor.

"Will you stop!"

"Naruto it hurts! I want to die! I hurts so much.." he knew it would be hard getting Sasuke clean, but from yesterday just till today he had gone total frenzy, and everything went overboard. When he could feel Sasuke finally stopped struggling he loosened his hold, and saw tears overflowing dark eyes.

"Why are you tormenting me.." left the ravens lips.

Naruto backed off, and he couldn't stand looking at the Uchiha, he was likewise in pain..

Sasuke got up from the kitchen floor and used the kitchen table to raise his body with. He had no energy since he hadn't for 4 days straight, and he could barely stand up. Tears still fell from his eyes, but as he got up he saw, the little case.

In a sober moment he opened it. He saw again the rings.

"I will.. I will overcome this.." he closed it again, and made his way to the bedroom. If he just could live it out, then it would be all good again.. he wanted to overcome this.

As the day passed by, Naruto could hear how Sasuke would scream in pain, both pain he inflicted on himself, but the tormenting feeling of his whole body in war with itself.

He couldn't do anything other than patch the raven up when he wasn't on the edge of frenzy; he had locked the door into the bedroom, since he couldn't hear if Sasuke left the house before it might be too late.

He couldn't concentrate much on work, and had called in to his manager to cancel some appointments, due to "family problems" as he had put it. The manager was surprised because the blond star never talked like he did have a family; he never talked about them anyway. So it came with utter surprise that he had cancelled tests and certain interviews.

But he had been strong in his statement and said no. He needed this time, he said, and the manager could only oblige.

Night time had arrived, and Naruto opened the door into the bedroom, finding Sasuke passed out on the futon, bandages ripped and clothes torn. He had really been on a killing frenzy. Every picture had been slammed into something, destroying the frame, and making glass chars lye scattered on the floor like small knives. Naruto vacuum cleaned the small pieces up and removed the frames, and took everything else there could be dangerous away.

He then sat down and began undoing Sasuke's bandages, so he could put new ones on.

"Naruto..?" Naruto jumped as he heard the low voice, and saw the black eyes looking at him with tears there threatened to overflow them.

"You surprised me there.. Thought you were asleep.."

"I.. do…"

"What are you talking about?" Naruto wrapped one of Sasuke's arms in fresh bandages, so there wouldn't go infection in the wounds he had created with his nails.

"I.." and before the raven could say what he wanted, he was overpowered with sleep.. his body was fighting against his every wish.

Naruto got up and locked the room of, and went to sleep in the guest room down the hall.

_So __far away _

_been far away for far too long _

_so far away _

_been far away for far too long _

_but you know, you know, you know_

Naruto woke next morning, and he couldn't hear anything from Sasuke's room, but as he opened the door, he saw the raven lye beside the door.

Naruto panicked and was for short moment afraid that Sasuke might have inflicted more pain onto himself, but he was luckily just asleep, and woke as Naruto had taken him up.

"I.. am hungry.." the words left the Uchiha's lips like a slow whisper, just barely audible.

"Want to come down with me to the kitchen or should I bring you something?" Naruto held the raven in his arms, feeling how the older male relaxed his head against his shoulder.

"I want to come with you.." Naruto took Sasuke down to the kitchen, placed him in one of the big chairs he had taken from the living room so that the raven could sit comfortable.

"You feeling better then?" Naruto poured some juice and made a slice of toast with jam on and placed it in front of Sasuke.

"I think.. I just felt hungry when I woke.. " Though when he looked at the toast, he couldn't bring himself to eat it. It was disgusting and he felt like he needed to puke, though he knew there wasn't anything to throw up by now.

"Sasuke you need to eat, your body doesn't have any fat to rely on anymore and you can hardly stand as it is.." giving the bread a glare, he pushed it away, he couldn't eat it, it was just to revolting.

"Didn't you say you were hungry?" Naruto cocked a brow as he saw the raven scowl at the bread.

"I can't.. " Sasuke turned his head away from the table, like a child not wanting to eat his vegetables.

"This is it! Goddamit Sasuke you need food! Just eat it!" Naruto walked over to the table and pushed the plate right in front of Sasuke again.

"Eat."

"No."

"Eat it!"

"You can't make me."

Oh this was it, Naruto had had it with watching Sasuke turn into nothing but skin and bones, and he was practically disappearing in front of his eyes.

Taking a big bite from the piece of toast he chewed it slowly and then grabbed Sasuke's chin, forcing him to look at him, and then he kissed the raven, forcing his tongue through the Uchiha's lips, and slowly pushing the toast inside his mouth. Sasuke grunted and tried to make Naruto stop, but he couldn't move the blond one inch, and he had no choice but to swallow the food.

Naruto released his hold on his chin, watching how the raven heaved for air.

"What do you think you are doing! Killing me with food!?" Sasuke was about to yell more profanities and nasty words, before Naruto yet again descended his lips upon his, and yet again forced food into his mouth.

This progress was more or less repeated until the entire piece of toast was gone… and juice.

"I can to make you eat your food.. and if you don't start doing it yourself I will continue.."

Sasuke sent him a glare; though he knew it had no effect on the blond man he still did it. And alone the thought of getting forced more food down his throat gave him chills. The blond was a sadist.

"I am going back to the bedroom.."

"Yea yea.. don't go and throw it up.." Naruto sat down to eat his own breakfast as Sasuke walked back.

On his way, he passed the piano room, where he first saw Naruto. It was a simple room, just a room with blue walls and windows. No furniture, no pictures. Actually when he thought about it, the whole place lacked furniture, and even though there were books and pictures in the living room there weren't any trinkets, no vases no nothing really. Only pictures.

He walked into the piano room and sat down, looking at the black and white pieces, running his fingers over them. Here Naruto came to make music, all alone he would sit here and write the lyrics..

He looked up at the piece of paper on the little mantle placed in front of him. It was the piece he had heard Naruto sing. It sounded so sad and yet like.. It was promise.

Sasuke studied the last lines, and the notes, though he had no idea how to read them, he had heard the rhythm of the music, and then he picked up the pencil and scribbled something down on the paper, and got up and left the room.

The day went uneventful by. Sasuke got out from time to time, when he wasn't sleeping or feeling like his body was carving in, he would take a seat in the living room and sit and look out the windows.

"Yea.. We haven't been out for a while, huh?" Naruto sat down in another chair admiring the view as well.

"I don't think I can handle the outside right now.. I can't even handle myself.." Sasuke looked at the blond who gave a weak smile, one of those he could remember he would always give when he didn't know what to say.

"..So.. are you going to eat by yourself to night or am I forced to continue the same way as last time?" He gave a grin as he could tell Sasuke was mad about how food was forced, with brute strength none the less, into his body.

"I will try to eat.. by myself." He said and got up and they both walked into the kitchen, where Sasuke took seat in the big comfy chair again.

Naruto began cooking and in manner of half an hour he had cooked up a meal with nudels and meat. They didn't talk during that time, Naruto concentrated around the cooking and dicing of vegetables, and Sasuke sat looking at him doing so.

He wasn't hungry, but he would try for Naruto's sake, and for his own. He wouldn't like to get more food forced down, both because it didn't taste that good and also because Naruto was so strong, unlike him, and could hold his face in an iron grip.

A plate with nudels and meat was placed in front of him, and a glass of water. The portion was tiny compared to Naruto's but the blond knew he couldn't contain that much food after having starved himself for almost a week, so he started out slow.

"Come on.. It tastes really good, and I told you I improved since we last lived together.." Naruto took a bite of his own plate and "uhmm!" how good it was, and Sasuke was just about to push away again, when he remembered he would at least _try_ to eat.

He spun his fork around in the nudels and picked it up and got all the way to his mouth, and then stopped. It didn't even smell good, it just looked.. like food. Nothing he really had the desire of shoving into his mouth.

"Sasuke come on.. It's like four bites then you are done.." Naruto sat and saw how Sasuke tried to eat the one bite, but he couldn't and put the food down.

"I am sorry.. " he said low, as he looked down at the food.

"yeah.. so am i.." Naruto got up and over to the raven who sat unmoving in the chair. He pulled the plate closer to him, and as Sasuke thought he was going to take it away, he saw it was only so he could reach the fork with nudels.

"No Naruto.. no. please don't." Sasuke would normally never beg, but he was too panicked when he thought about getting that shoved into his mouth.

"I said I was sorry.." Naruto took the bite and again grabbed hold around Sasuke's chin, kissed him and forced his tongue inside, allowing passage for the food.

Sasuke's tongue fought to shove it out again, and during the push and shove movement between the two, their tongues graced each other, and the vile act of being forced fed was turning out to be rather..

"mmn.." Naruto ended the searing kiss by kissing Sasuke lips, making sure he swallowed the food.

"See.. It's not that bad now is it? I told you I had improved."

"You can't just shove food into me like that!"

"Then start eating it yourself!"

"I don't want to! I am not hungry."

"Well I told you there were 4 bites.. so 3 more to go.."

"You can't be serious-"

The plum lips forced the raven's mouth open and yet again their tongues touched through the nudels, and the food kiss, as it were, lasted much much longer than the previous - and continued to last longer until Sasuke finally had swallowed the last bite.

"There we go. All done."

"Don't mock me idiot."

"I aint bastard. I am keeping you alive."

Sasuke scowled, very unhappy that he was force fed, like some stupid child.

"I think we should go out tomorrow."

"Out?" the scowl turned into a concerned face, and Sasuke sank a little in his chair.

"Yea.. we need more food first of all.. And you could do with some new clothes.."

"What's wrong with what I have now?"

"Nothing, just no point in having much money if we can't use them on ourselves is there?" Naruto grinned wide, and Sasuke didn't say anything to retort his answer.

"I also think you are recovering very well, and it would be good for you also to pay the doctor a visit."

"No doctor."

"Sasuke I am not saying it as if you have a choice. I am demanding it from you." Naruto gave the older male a glare, showing he meant it.

"Why?"

"First.. We need to assure you are clean from drugs. Period. And from.. " Naruto's word drifted into nothing and he looked down on his plate.

"To see if I have aids and shit, right?" Sasuke stated.

"Yes."

"Okay.. I will.. On one condition."

"Sasuke I said this wasn't for discussion, you are going." Naruto gave a serious look at the older male again, and was met with smirk, almost like the old Sasuke was back..

"Who said I was ever negotiating on this either?" Naruto leaned back in his chair.

"Okay then, let's hear it.. What do you want from me then?"

"I want to hear your song." The blond's eyes widened.

"B-but it's not really finished, and it's not that good yet-"  
"just play it for me, and I will go." Sasuke said, cutting of the blond.

"You promise?" Naruto gave a suspicious look. The raven was still a sneaky bastard, even if he was in this state.. Apparently.

"Yea yea I promise. On Uchiha honor and all that.." Sasuke said, trying to avoid the fat smirk spread across the blonds face.

"Okay then.. Let's go.."

As they walked into the piano room, with no furniture, they both sat down on the little bench, as Naruto cracked his hands.

"Keep in mind it's a work in progress.."

"Just play idiot."

"Fine bastard."

A foreplay in notes danced out of the piano as Naruto played, and as he began singing the lyrics, Sasuke closed his eyes and listened. As he got to the first chorus and his voice pitched, it gave him the chills.

Naruto sang the parts with so much passion, and as Sasuke opened his eyes as Naruto came to the second verse, he looked at the blond who looked from the notes down at the piano, and back up, and as he did so, he suddenly stopped. Taking the piece of paper up, looking at the notes.

"Did you write this?" he asked cocking a brow at the raven.

"Just play it will you?"

"Alright.." Naruto again made a foreplay on the piano, and sang the last verse over again to get a flow going. Sasuke closed his eyes as he listened to the rough voice singing the part he had scribbled.

_I wanted _

_I wanted you to stay _

_'cause I needed _

_I need to hear you say _

_that I love you _

_I have love you all along _

_and I forgive you _

_for being away for far too long _

_so keep breathing _

_'cause I am not leaving you anymore _

_hold on to me _

_and never let me go.._

As the song finished, they just sat there in silence. Naruto's fingers still lingered at the piano's pieces of black and white, before he pulled them down in his lap.

Sasuke looked at him, and as the blond turned to look at the raven, a tear drop fell from his cheek and onto his jeans, leaving a little dark spot.

"Do.. Do you really mean this? Do you really mean what you wrote..?" Sasuke reached out to caress the tear away.

"I do. I already told you yesterday ago, but you didn't understand because I was so sick.. and talked like I was delusional."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"I don't remember that.."

"I didn't suspect you to, since your just that thick" Naruto snorted at that. ".. but.. when I am sick, there are times where I need remember why I am here and with whom.. and because of that i want to pull through.. I want to be with you."

Eyes still wide in disbelief, Naruto stared at Sasuke, before he with the back of his hand removed the teardrops from his eyes. As he removed his hand from his eyes, he could feel the raven kiss him on his lips, letting a hand rest on his chest.

Naruto felt the rim of his lips getting licked and he opened up his mouth, deepening the kiss instantly. He pulled the raven as close as possible could, kissing Sasuke like he hadn't kissed him for years.

"mmn.. naru.. I can't breathe." Sasuke gasped as he ended the kiss, trying to gain air.

"oh! Sorry.. I am just so happy.. I am sorry.." the blond caressed the Uchiha's cheek, before he suddenly got up and ran out of the room.

"Where are you going…?"

And almost just as fast as he had left he was back, with a little black case in his hand.

"You really are an idiot.."

"What do you mean?" Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes, before he let his right hand dangle in front of the blonds face.. now with a silver ring on it.

Naruto stared at the ring and then he opened the case.

"When did you..?" he looked back at the one ring in the case and back at Sasuke's hand.

"like.. yesterday or something.. can't remember"

"You can't remember?"

"no?.. I took it on as motivation so I wouldn't fail in my progress towards being drug free.."

Sasuke was surprised as Naruto sat down on one knee and kissed his hand.

"I am the happiest man on the planet now.. "

Sasuke snorted, but couldn't hide a blush on his cheeks.

"Here let me put yours on." He motioned for Naruto to give him the case. He took out the ring and Naruto handed his right hand to him, where Sasuke gently put the ring on.

"Does this mean I can sleep in my bed again?"

Sasuke felt the urge to hit him on the side of the head and just smiled; putting each hand on either side of the blonds scarred cheeks.

"This means you will _Only_ sleep in your own bed, from now until you fall dead."

Naruto grinned, putting his hands on Sasuke's and leaning in..

"I can live with that.."

..and kissing the raven.

* * *

**R&R!**


End file.
